fly on the wall

-yesterday i sat down to write a song. not just any song, but a song to effectively end my dry spell of around four months. i was gazing feverishly at a blank page (per usual) when suddenly the phrase ‘fly on the wall’ entered my head and i foolishly decided i was off to a great start.
well, luckily, just then i remembered my friend evan. evan has this habit when he’s writing song lyrics that has rubbed off on me. whenever he thinks of a phrase the first thing he does is punch it into google and check the results.. he’s even formulated a chart that directly relates the number of hits that a phrase returns on the search engine to that particular phrase’s individuality. for example, if a phrase brings back less than 100 returns, you’ve either hit the  jackpot or you have a very dim understanding of the english language and your phrase is complete rubbish (or it could mean both). if it’s more than 100,000 returns, you’ve probably been aware of the phrase your entire life and have somehow ended up attributing its origins to yourself. congratulations! and if it’s more than a million hits? well.. what did you think would happen when you punched in ‘i am the walrus’ or ‘pants on the ground’ ?(which, by the way, has 80 million hits)
    i’ve so completely bought into the practicality of evans method, that i’m not sure anymore how i ever wrote so much as a sentence before google existed! so i typed ‘fly on the wall’ into google and to my dismay, i found around 2,950,000 results. ‘Well hey’, i figured, ‘sure it’s been around a while. but i bet, i BET i can put a fresh spin on it.. make it into something clever’
   then i discovered the awful truth about this promising phrase that i’d been ruminating over for more than 5 minutes. turns out it’s spoken for. and since i can’t in my own words describe the magical lyrics that it has inspired,  i will quote. i quote Yulia Volkova and Lena Katina of T.A.T.U., i quote Brian Johnson of AC/DC, and i quote Miley Cyrus of, well, Miley Cyrus.


FOTW, by Miley Cirus
If you only knew what I talked about
When I’m with my friends just hangin’ out
Then you’d have the inside scoop
On what to say, what to do
That way when you play the game
Baby, you can never lose

Don’t you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?
A creepy little sneaky little fly on the wall?
All my precious secrets, yeah, you’d know them all
Don’t you wish that you could be a fly on the wall?

FOTW, by T.A.T.U

When you think you’re alone
I’ll be down in the hall
I could see it, if I was a fly on the wall
What you do in your room
I could see it all
You undress, I wish I was a fly on the wall, yeah

Wish I was a fly on the wall

and lastly,

FOTW, by ac/dc

Take a chance, take a bite
Rock ‘n’ roll devil take me tonight
Like a bitch, making heat
Beating on my chest, licking at my feet
It’s a game, too tough to tame
Ending up the same, sweating out the rain
So watch out, there’s a fly on the wall

*sigh* once again, all the greats have spoken and there is nothing new under the sun. And google, you fierce mistress, you never fail to burst my bubble.


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Filed under Blather, sarcasm

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